25 Things I’m Starting to Understand (From a 25-Year-Old Figuring It Out)

What I’ve learned so far about work, relationships, and building a life that feels like mine.

I turned 25 this year. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out what matters. I’m not claiming to have all the answers, or even most of them, but I’ve been paying close attention to how I think, how I work, how I show up, and how I feel when I don’t. These aren’t rules or secrets. They’re just things I’ve noticed. Lessons I’ve learned the hard way, or from people much wiser than I. Some are about work, some about money, some about life in general. I hope that at least one of them resonates with you.

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1. Say yes early.
In your 20s, try things. Say yes. Take the weird gig. Go to the random event. Each “yes” increases your surface area for luck.

2. Relationships are leverage.
After a certain point, your skill set and ability matter less than your relationships. Who you know, how you show up, and how people feel after interacting with you will drive your career growth. Invest time and energy into people.

3. Structure creates freedom.
You don’t need a 10-year plan. But you do need daily routines. Guardrails prevent drift. A little structure goes a long way.

4. Hard things give life meaning.
Modern life is easy. That’s not always a good thing. Seek friction. Choose the hard workout. Take on the project that makes you nervous. We grow through effort.

5. You are not entitled to anything.
The world doesn’t owe you success or fairness. But you owe it to yourself to try, fail, and keep going anyway.

Surrounded by my closest friends after completing my first marathon in 2023.

6. Financial literacy is a survival skill.
Gen Z has access to more financial tools than ever. The hard part is tuning out fads and fear. Read a few good books. Learn how to budget, invest, and understand your money mindset.

7. Habits make the difference.
Most of what you’re good at now came from boring repetition. That’s great news, you can change anything if you stick with it long enough.

8. AI can’t replace human connection.
The future of work is changing fast. What remains timeless is emotional intelligence. Can you connect, tell a story, or hold a real conversation? Those are the skills that matter.

9. Reinvention is always on the table.
Be multidimensional. Try new things. Just because you’re known for one skill doesn’t mean you have to stay in that lane forever.

10. Mentors accelerate everything.
If you can find one for free, great. If not, pay for it. A good mentor saves you time and shows you what’s possible.

A few books I have reread multiple times over the last two years that have helped shape my money mindset and values.

11. Protect your energy.
Avoid people who complain, gossip, or act like victims. It’s contagious. Hang out with people who take ownership and speak life.

12. The journey is the reward.
You don’t “arrive.” Big goals come and go. What lasts is who you become along the way. Don’t obsess over the outcome; focus on the process.

13. You create your environment.
Yes, you’re influenced by your surroundings, but you also get to shape them. Pay attention to your energy, language, and daily habits. You have more control than you think.

14. Presence is a superpower.
Being fully present is rare. Hard, even. But when you find it, on a walk, in a conversation, it’s where the best parts of life live.

15. Adult friendships take effort.
Post-college life doesn’t offer a built-in community. That’s your cue to build one aligned by values, not just convenience.

Great to have people in your corner who help to challenge you and push you to be a better version of yourself.

16. Community > consumption.
Offline matters. Find a hobby, group, or cause that gets you off your phone and into real life. You’ll feel it.

17. Your thoughts shape your reality.
What you think about daily becomes who you are. Start paying attention. Inner dialogue matters more than you think.

18. Think in five-year windows.
If it won’t matter in five years, don’t give it five minutes. Let go of drama, noise, and nonsense. Stay focused on what compounds.

19. Your upbringing does not define you.
If you had a good one, build on it. If you didn’t, that’s okay, it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to redefine yourself.

20. Giving pays dividends.
Call it karma, call it energy, the more you give, the more comes back. And even if it doesn’t? You’ll feel better for showing up generously.

Skydiving in the Swiss Alps a few minutes before proposing to my now fiancé.

21. Find friends who advocate for you.
The best people speak your name in rooms you’re not in. They open doors for you without expecting anything in return.

22. Relationships require alignment.
You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do need alignment on values, money, and a shared vision. A good partner will challenge you and fill in your gaps.

23. Watch how they treat the waiter.
Want to know someone’s character? Go out to eat with them. If they’re rude or dismissive to service staff, believe what you see.

24. Comparison is poison.
Social media has made it easy to feel like you’re behind. Don’t play that game. Focus on your lane and tune out the noise.

25. Keep learning, always.
There is no final destination. The work, the growth, the curiosity, it doesn’t end. You don’t get “there.” You keep going.

Finding some time to reflect after a hike in southern Germany.

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I’m well aware that 25 isn’t old. In a lot of ways, I’m just getting started. But reflecting like this helped me realize how much can change in just a few years, how your mindset, your values, and your habits evolve, whether you’re intentional or not. This list isn’t final. I’ll probably disagree with parts of it a year from now. But that’s the point. Growth isn’t linear, and clarity rarely shows up all at once. If you’re reading this, you’re likely in the middle of your version of that process. So here’s to figuring it out: one lesson, one mistake, one reflection at a time.