14 Comments
User's avatar
Mick's avatar

"Listen to listen, not to respond" is one of the best advice especially in today's performative world. People like you Ryan are a blessing! It's always nice to be surrounded by people who genuinely are there for you, not for the sake of pretending to be.

Keep rocking it Ryan! You da best!!

Lisa Rosato's avatar

Dale Carnegie's book remains one of all times must reads! It's funny how we're excellent in asking and answering the 'What do you do' question. However we rarely ask what makes us feel passionate. I'm not a huge fan of small talk at all and ironically most of the people I interacted with aren't either. I started to use the second question rule unconsciously and it truly made a dfifference. Although it needed some adjustment at first because the 'I'do XYZ' came almost automatically!

Sara Benna݁ ᥫ᭡'s avatar

Familiarity breeds trust, which turns into sharing ideas, which opens up conversation. Hit the nail on the head & I’m honored to be mentioned here. You’ve been a consistent positive force on this platform and I always feel inspired after reading your articles. Thank you Ryan 👏

Anna ❀'s avatar

Loved the comment on the intersection of disciplines and the value of seeing the connections!! thank you so much for this post. i like how fitting all your ideas have a post of yours behind them, or a shared live. its like the second question rule record! amazing read 🙌

Ryan's avatar

Ah yes! Thank you for noticing!!

Francisco's avatar

So glad for the shot out!

Interesting topic, my friend, had real fun doing that live with you!

Ryan's avatar

Always a pleasure!

Andrew Calvert's avatar

true story, I have a note card in my stack of article ideas that just says "never settle for the first response"

HUGE fan of getting good (and always getting better) at the art of the 2nd ask

Ryan's avatar

Great minds think alike!!

Amy Stanborough's avatar

Honestly so inspired by how supportive and well connected you are on Substack, Ryan.

I loved this line in particular “The more disciplines you explore, the more connections you can see” because funnily enough I was listening to a podcast on being a good conversationalist today. Part that stuck with me is “stop worrying about being interesting, and be more interested” which aligns with your arguments.

I’m definitely going to put your suggestions into practice, and look forward to reading some of the work referenced in this post. And thank you for the mention. Look forward to catching up with you tomorrow!

Ryan's avatar

Thanks Amy! Appreciate you taking the time to read 😁

Productivity With Care's avatar

Love this! Such simple advice, but it makes such a big difference in building relationships.

Ryan's avatar

Thanks for taking the time to read!

Jeanette's avatar

👏🏻