26 Things I’d Tell My Younger Self
Lessons on discipline, ambition, comparison, relationships, and getting out of your own way.
I’m only 26, so let’s get this out of the way early: I do not have life figured out.
But I have lived enough life to notice certain lessons that keep showing up in my work, relationships, health, writing, and ambition.
A big reason I started writing on Substack was to share what I’m learning in real time, not from some mountaintop of wisdom, but from the middle of it.
So this list is not a rulebook. It is simply 26 things I would tell my younger self if I had the chance.
Some came from experience. Some came from failure. Some came from people much wiser than me. And some I am still learning, slowly and imperfectly.
My hope is that one of these gives you something useful to hold onto in whatever phase of life you are in right now.
And if you only skim the list, at least read number 26.
Let’s get to it.
The Inner Game
Before we get into discipline, ambition, relationships, or anything external, I think the first battle is internal.
So much of your life is shaped by the way you see yourself, the stories you keep repeating, and the meaning you assign to what is happening around you. If you can start changing the way you relate to yourself, a lot of the outside stuff becomes easier to handle.
1. No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are.
Most people are too busy managing their own insecurities, problems, plans, and self-image to obsess over yours. The thing you are replaying in your head for the 47th time is probably something they forgot about 10 minutes after it happened.
2. The stories you repeat to yourself become the life you live.
Your internal dialogue is not harmless background noise. The thoughts you rehearse repeatedly eventually become the limits, beliefs, and identity you operate from.
Read more here ↓
3. Comparison really is the thief of joy.
Social media has made it too easy to compare your normal Tuesday to someone else’s highlight reel. The more you measure your life against someone else’s, the harder it becomes to appreciate what is right in front of you.
4. It is usually not that deep.
Journaling has taught me that so many things that once felt overwhelming eventually became things I figured out, moved through, or forgot about. We suffer far more in imagination than reality.
5. Make peace with the phase of life you are in.
You will not be here forever, even if this season feels confusing, awkward, or uncertain. You never step in the same river twice, and one day you may miss parts of the life you are currently trying to rush through.
Ownership and Action
Once you start changing the way you relate to yourself, the next lesson becomes pretty clear: nobody is going to do the work for you. Your life only starts to change when you take ownership and act.
6. No one is coming to save you.
This is both terrifying and freeing. Terrifying because it means you have to take responsibility, but freeing because it means you are allowed to build, change, move, start over, and choose.
7. What happened to you may not be your fault, but healing is still your responsibility.
You may not have chosen the pain, disappointment, or circumstances you inherited. But you are still the one who has to decide what to do with them.
8. Start doing.
Thinking, planning, researching, and reflecting all have their place, but action is what actually changes you. At some point, you have to stop negotiating with yourself and begin.
9. Motivation is not the same thing as discipline.
Motivation is great when it shows up, but it is unreliable. Discipline is what carries you when the feeling disappears.
Read more here ↓
10. Stop waiting until you feel ready.
You are rarely going to feel fully prepared before doing the thing that changes you. Confidence usually comes after action, not before it.
The Long Game
But ownership is not always loud or dramatic.
Most of the time, it looks like doing small things consistently, trusting the process, and learning how to keep showing up before the results arrive.
11. Get comfortable putting in effort without seeing immediate results.
Some of the most important work you do will not pay off right away. That does not mean it is wasted.
12. Respect compounding.
Money compounds, but so do habits, skills, relationships, and small daily choices. Most major life changes are not the result of one massive decision, but the result of repeated actions over time.
13. There is no finish line.
You will reach one goal, and then another one will appear. That is not a flaw in the system, but you have to be careful not to attach your entire identity to the scoreboard.
14. Add constraints to your life on purpose.
Convenience is not always your friend. In a world designed to make everything easier, faster, and more addictive, sometimes the best thing you can do is intentionally make the right things harder to avoid.
15. Keep learning across multiple domains.
Do not box yourself into one narrow skill set too early. The more disciplines you can pull from, the more unique and valuable your perspective becomes.
Read more here ↓
Health, Values, and Direction
But playing the long game requires more than discipline and patience.
You also need energy, direction, and a clear understanding of what actually matters to you.
16. Take your health seriously before life forces you to.
Energy is one of the most underrated advantages in life. When your body feels better, your work, relationships, confidence, mood, and ambition all improve with it.
17. Know what you value before the world decides for you.
If you do not define what matters, culture will gladly hand you a checklist. Money, status, attention, titles, followers, approval—some of those may matter, but they should not become your life by accident.
Read more here ↓
18. Do not make your career your entire identity.
Work matters, but it is not the whole story. A job can give you purpose, structure, and pride, but it cannot carry the full weight of your meaning.
19. Find something that reminds you the world is bigger than yourself.
That could be religion, philosophy, volunteering, coaching, nature, service, or family. Whatever it is, you need something that pulls you out of your own head and reminds you that your problems are not the whole universe.
20. Let go of control.
Life is going to keep changing the conditions. You cannot control the wind, the timing, the setback, or the storm, but you can adjust your sails.
People Will Shape Your Life
And as much as personal growth can feel individual, your life will never be shaped by you alone.
The people around you matter more than you think. Who you love, who you learn from, who you surround yourself with, and who you let speak into your life will quietly shape the direction you go.
21. Be careful who you choose to build a life with.
Few decisions will shape your future more than who you marry or commit your life to. Choose someone whose values, character, and direction make the hard parts of life easier to face, not harder.
22. Be intentional about community.
Connection does not happen as automatically as it used to. In a world retreating into screens, you may have to actively seek out people who challenge you, support you, and remind you what real life feels like.
23. You can only go so far alone.
Find mentors, teachers, coaches, or people who have walked the path before you. If you cannot find one organically, there is no shame in paying to learn from someone who can help you shorten the learning curve.
24. Increase your surface area for luck.
Luck often looks random from the outside, but you can put yourself in better positions to receive it. Meet people, share your work, say yes to new rooms, start conversations, and let the world know what you are building.
Read more here ↓
25. Choose friends who speak highly of you when you are not in the room.
That is one of the best tests of friendship. The right people protect your name, celebrate your wins, and create opportunities for you even when there is nothing in it for them.
The Final Reminder
And if all of these lessons point back to one final reminder, it is this: do not shrink your life before it even has a chance to unfold.
You are still becoming, and the future may be much bigger than the version of it you can currently imagine.
26. Do not put a cap on your ambition.
You are capable of becoming someone you cannot even fully picture yet. With self-belief, skill, consistent effort, good timing, and a little bit of luck, your life can look completely different five years from now.
Do not let your current circumstances convince you that this is all there is. Do not let fear disguise itself as realism. Do not let the version of yourself you are today limit the version of yourself you could become tomorrow.
At 26, I do not have everything figured out. Not even close. But I do believe this: you are allowed to want more from your life, and you are allowed to go build it.
Not because it will be easy.
Not because it is guaranteed.
But because the alternative is living a life quietly capped by your own disbelief.
I sincerely hope that you received some value from this piece.
Wishing you all the best.
Till next time.
Based on my experience at 50, you’ve got the list straight without a doubt. The same list I am moving my kids toward.
Fireeee!!!! As usual, not only is this amazing, the wisdom in here… oh man, I don’t even know what to say. Phenomenal! I love how you added a little cherry on top for each of the points. Thanks for sharing Ryan!